Every Saturday morning I attend a meditative yoga class. I love it, even though I spend most of the hour, trying not to think about things I need to do, random silly thoughts and trying not to think about trying not to think.
While I am there I do sometimes feel moments of being in another place, an other worldly feeling that (I think) sometimes feels like transcendence.
Most importantly, I adore the instructor. She is marvellous. Sometimes I even think she can even read my thoughts.
One time I was supposed to be meditating but was thinking instead about the calming spa-like music she plays during our class. Should I have music on when I practice at home? Is it better to practice with or without it? I wonder where she buys this music, is there a special mediative yoga music store somewhere? I'll bet really cool mellow people hang out there...
Then, as if she heard my thoughts she said; "Music is for the beginning, when we are learning. As we practice more, we don't need to use these external distractions. These things, music, body movements, visualization, colour, sound are to help us learn how to quiet the mind and focus inward."
I peeked through my half closed eyelid at her. She was sitting serenely, eyes closed no outward sign that she was a mind reader.
This past Saturday, I was mulling over a new path I hope to forge in the next six months or so. I want to start my own business and feel that this is the direction the universe is compelling me to take. When I think about this I feel something that can only be described as inner peace. I know this is where I need to go.
Like many though, I suffer moments of indecision, self-doubt and dare I said it, fear. Sometimes through this lens I look at others' lives and wonder how things seem so easy for them or their transitions appear so seamless despite knowing the logical answer (its not that easy). I realized its hard not to look at a successful outcome and truly pay attention to the emotional labour that goes into it.
All we see is the moment in time where everything seems perfect for someone else.
As I was thinking about this and both bemoaning my insecurities and lack of focus my instructor punctuated the silence with this:
"Sometimes we forget that what seems so quick and easy took a lot of time to create. What looks instantaneous; cell phones, ipods, internet really are things that make things faster and quick took much time to make. Turning inward is like that. What seems easy takes much practice and effort to achieve. Instantaeous takes time.
Yogis say that being creative is not just painting a picture or sculpting or even writing a story. Creativity is how we use the finite time we are given on this earth, being creative to them is spending your life focused inward."
Ummm....this woman must really see inside my head (if so I feel for her) or are we all reaching a certain level of awareness wherein we can tap into these energies of others and feelwhat they are thinking?
I'm not sure how she does it but I know that my perspective changed in an instant. Yes, some people seem to have it all but most, in some fashion or another, had to work hard to get there. We never know the battles people have to face to succeed and it never really matters because we only see a snapshot of peoples' lives, even our close friends and family. We only see one part - the outcome that looks easy.
I swear my instructor can read my mind in a second but it must've taken her years to do it.
The Love List
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